Warning! The following may contain bad spelling, grammar, punctuation, cardboard characters, cheesy plots, offensive NSFW material, and / or puns. Reader discretion is advised.
Inside the store, Freddie ducked and headed down the aisle away from the gunman. He peeked around the end of the aisle. The gunman was still out of the line of sight. He moved over to the endcap of the next aisle over.
“Come on out man.” The robber was trying to see down the aisle where Freddie had been, not knowing he had moved.
Freddie watched his opponent in the big mirror that the store had in the corners to watch the aisles for shoplifters.
If the guy holding the gun had only used his brain he could have done the same thing and found where Freddie was hiding. Instead he cautiously stepped toward the aisle near the cooler, craning his neck to get a look down the aisle to see if Freddie was still there.
Freddie moved up the aisle toward the front cashwrap. The robber had moved closer to the end of the cooler aisle. Freddie stealthily crept up behind the robber, standing just behind him.
“Where are you man?”
“Right behind you.”
The robber swung around to face Freddie but he never completed the move. Freddie blocked the arm holding the gun and snapped it at the elbow. The guy screamed in pain as Freddie brought his hand up underneath his chin, then swept his legs, driving the man to the ground. Freddie rolled on top of the man pinning him to the floor. He pressed on the man’s neck and held it until the robber passed out. Freddie grabbed the can of Zooper and went to the cashwrap.
Outside, Tom froze. “You know, violence never solves anything.”
“Just don’t move man.”
“Who’s moving? I’m just talking.”
“Then stop talking.”
“The breakdown of communication leads to the downfall of society.”
“People never stop to talk anymore. They don’t get to know each other. My name is Tom. What’s yours?”
“I’m … hey wait a minute. Stop talking man. You’re confusing me.”
“Okay, I’ll stop talking. But one last thing.”
“I’m going to take two steps to my right.”
“Do I need to use smaller words? Two steps. To my right. That way.” Tom nodded his head to the right.
“Thanks. Here we go. Step one, step two.”
“Why did you do that man?”
“Oh, I just wanted to make sure that you didn’t turn around and were facing me. Incoming.”
“Huh?” The robber turned around just in time to get slammed in the face by a can of Zooper. Tom spun the man from behind and gave him a solid right cross to the face. The robber went down instantly. Tom waved to Freddie at the door of the mini-mart. “Thanks.”