Skip to content


  • by

I abhor Smurfs. With good reason.

Back in the early 80’s, I was in high school and worked a part-time job at Toys R’ Us. At the same time, the Smurfs were at the height of their popularity. They had a Saturday morning TV show, comics, and a whole slew of merchandise from toys to lunch boxes. You couldn’t sneeze without getting some on a Smurf.

There was an aisle in our store dedicated to all things Smurf. Stuffed dolls, minifigs, key chains, night lights, you name it. As luck would have it, I was assigned to take care of the Smurf aisle. All day long I had to restock the different items when they got low. I had to put everything back in it’s place after some kids came in and pulled everything off the shelves so they could finally decide on the perfect copy of thousands that they had to beg their parents to shell out hard-earned bucks to buy for them. When the store closed I had to sweep the aisle and make sure everything was perfect for the next day when more hoards of tykes would come in to mess it up again.

But the worst part of it all was the theme song to the TV show. Playing on an endless loop.

All. Day. Long.

Also, the word ‘Smurf’ had to be injected into every sentence uttered by the little tykes.

“Have a Smurfy day!”

“That’s Smurf-tastic!”

“The Smurfs are my most smurfiest favorite of all smurf-time!”

I’m sure that this was some kind of psychological torture test that would later be refined, perfected and used in some secret government facility to mentally destroy political prisoners.

I couldn’t be one row over, in either direction. One row to the right had all things cars and racing and Tonka trucks. The other aisle to the left held all the action figures – GI Joe, Transformers, He-Man and the Masters Of The Universe, Thundercats. You know, the cool stuff.

I can’t see a Smurf without that stupid theme song playing in my head. I can’t even hear the word without my mental radio station getting stuck on the theme song.

Dang it! Now I’ve got that stupid song stuck in my head just by writing about it.

It’s enough to make me hope that Gargamel eats all the horrid little Smurfs and put s a permanent end to them.

If you want to see an end to the Smurf scourge, why not buy me a chocolate chip cookie through my Ko-Fi page?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *