As part of my new health regime my doctor has made me start testing my blood sugar levels again. Four times a day.
I have to stick my finger with a lancet and draw a drop of blood, then use my glucose meter to get my blood sugar level. I have to get a fasting blood sugar in the morning, then test again after every meal.
I had to get a new glucose meter to take my levels. Fair enough. But it has a interesting feature.
It talks.
It has a nice, chipper, dare I say upbeat, female voice that tells me it is time to take my blood sugar. Then after I feed it blood (I always get images of Audrey Two in Little Shop Of Horrors saying ‘feed me, Seymour!‘) it gives me the reading in a nice pleasant voice. Then when I turn it off, it plays a happy little tune.
Maybe this is sort of like Zaphod Bebblebrox’s sunglasses in The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy that darken and prevent him from seeing anything distressing. Maybe my glucose meter is trying to keep me calm because it knows that I don’t like stabbing myself with a needle four times a day? Or maybe it is more like the starship doors that are amazingly pleased with themselves when they open and close for you, asking if they did a good job or not.
Maybe if they had different voices / personalities that might make things more interesting. I could have Hal9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey.
“Give me my blood sugar levels, Hal.”
“I’m sorry, James, I cannot do that.”
Maybe not.
Or maybe Marvin the Paranoid Android. “Brain the size of a planet and they have me giving glucose level readings. Life. Don’t talk to me about life.”
Or Captain Kirk. “You’re … glucose levels are … tolerable.”
Or Doctor McCoy. “You’re levels are too high, Jim! I’m a doctor, not a meter reader!”
On second thought, I’ll stick with the voie it has.
I am impressed though with how little blood it takes to get a reading. I stabbed myself this evening and had a tiny drop of blood come out. I thought it wouldn’t be enough, because a similar amount on my old meter would have given me an error. As I was unable to squeeze any more blood from my finger I went ahead and used what I had and got a reading. That’s good because that means less re-sticking my finger multiple times trying to get more blood.
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