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Strange thing to put on a acting resume

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The wife is big on watching criminal shows – Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, The Rookie, Criminal Minds, etc.

We recently started watching Dexter. The wife has seen it before but it is new to me. (Yes, I’m late to the party.) The story revolves around the titular Dexter Morgan, who works for the police as a blood splatter analyst. When he isn’t busy with that, he’s busy hunting down criminals (other killers) and butchering them. His father was a cop and recognized early that there was something different about Dexter. He knew his son was likely to turn out to be a serial killer so he instills a ‘code of ethics’ within Dexter, so he uses his natural urges for the betterment of society. It’s an interesting premise and makes for an intriguing character.

Now, the one common denominator of all these shows is dead bodies. LOTS of dead bodies.

I have to wonder if this is something that the actors who portray the dead bodies put on their resumes?

“I was Dead Body #3 in a episode of Criminal Minds, the murdered husband in an episode of The Rookie, and the guy frozen and chopped up in an episode of Dexter.”

I imagine it is difficult playing a dead body. One episode of Law & Order: SVU had a dead young woman in Central Park, lying in the grass just off the pathway. She was partially covered by a coat, covering just the naughty parts that would get the show censored. The detectives are standing around figuring out how they are going to identify their Jane Doe, wearing cold weather clothing. Meanwhile the poor actress playing the dead body is on the cold ground, wearing very little, and having to not move, or shiver and shake in the cold.

Cary Elwes, in the excellent movie The Princess Bride, had a very hard time playng the ‘mostly dead’ Wesley in the scene where he was taken to Miracle Max. In the scene, Inigo and Fezzik have taken Wesley to be revived by Miracle Max, played by comedian Billy Crystal. While filming the scene, Cary Elwes kept laughing at the impromptu lines Crystal was throwing around. Director Rob Reiner evetually threw Elwes off the set so they could complete filming of the scene. As the story goes, Rob Reiner was also thrown off the set because he couldn’t stop laughing either.

I wonder if you can make a living just playing stiffs in TV episodes? If you do a good enough job as a dead body, do you get to move up the acting ladder to playing roles where you get lines?

“No, no! Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh!” said just before a hatchet gets buried in your skull.

Maybe I missed my calling. Maybe I should try for an acting career being the dead guy. Maybe I could get a recurring role as the ‘dead guy’ on a comedy. I mean, South Park got away with repeatedly killing Kenny all the time. I would be the dead guy that keeps showing up in different scenes, maybe as a prank by the main characters. Hmmm. I think the Muse has another project to work on, as the only way I’d ever get that role is if I write the stories where it happens.

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