Impractical uses for an excessive fortune

My mind tends to wander on to odd topics, such as the one in the subject line of this post.

As my mind was idly wandering I started contemplating what I would do if for some reason I had more money than I could ever spend in this lifetime or know what to do with. If I do manage to accumulate a few million I’ve already stated I want my remains shot into space to follow the same path the Voyager probe (either one) took, and to open a bookstore. Of course at this level I can also make a talking moose head to put on the wall in the store.

But if I should somehow acquire wealth beyond the dreams of avarice? Then we jump into the wild and outlandish.

First, I’d hire John Williams to write a theme song for me. Something a little like Indiana Jones’ theme song, a little like the main theme of Star Wars, and a little like the closing credits music for Buckaroo Banzai: Across the 8th Dimension. Then I’d hire the London Philharmonic Orchestra to record it for me. Or possible The Electric Light Orchestra. Maybe both.

Then, stealing a bit from the movie Modesty Blaise, I’d hire a monk to play it on a organ every time I arrive home.

I’d start an animation studio to be able to create the animated movie based on Holst’s The Planets I want to make. Then I could afford to hire the London Philharmonic Orchestra (and / or ELO) to record the music for me. And I could hire animators to create the animation for me.

I’d find one of those underground complexes that was built during the nuclear scare and buy it, then renovate it into something cool, like an actual dungeon (a la D&D) and charge people to LARP in it.

I’d invest in having a medical tricorder like Dr. McCoy uses on Star Trek developed. Should it ever be successfully developed I might be persuaded to go to the doctor’s office. Maybe.

I might invest in developing the machine Elizabeth Holmes was trying to develop when she created the Theranos company. The idea was to be able to run hundreds of medical tests on a single drop of blood. Just because she was a scammer who ended up milking it for all the money she could but didn’t actually develop the tech doesn’t mean it was a bad idea. It was just horribly mishandled.

I’d pick a random grocery store and pay for everyone’s groceries for a week. The same with a restaurant. And an ice cream shop. And maybe a car repair shop. I might do this every week, or maybe once a month. Don’t know.

I like Spider Robinson’s idea he wrote about in his Callahan’s Bar stories – find an intelligent kid that should go to college but can’t afford it. Pay their tuition and school fees, give then a small stipend for living expenses. Once they graduate, you get their services for free for life. So, you get a doctor, a lawyer, a mechanic, a dentist, etc. I’ve been told that this is an impractical idea and amounts to indentured servitude, but I like it.

I might start a bottle cap museum. Just because.

Anyway, just a few random dreams beyond avarice.

What would you do, my Hordeling? Leave a comment and let me know.

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