Warning! This post discusses human poop and other unpleasant things. You may want to skip it. If so, no hard feelings. I’ll see you tomorrow.
The wife had to do one of those home stool sample kits to detect colon cancer. We collected the stool sample and prepared it for return to the company for testing.
It occurred to me that it is someone’s job to receive the package at the company, open it, take out human fecal matter, and then process it for testing. I’m fairly certain it isn’t a job I want to do.
It’s odd to think that this is someone’s job. Like, when they were a kid did they think to themself “When I grow up I want a job where I process human excrement for a living!” Do they do it because it excites them enough to get out of bed in the morning, eager to get to work? Do they do it because of the money? (I’m going to guess the person doing this is not getting paid minimum wage.) Do they do it for the satisfaction of helping people screen for a potentially deadly and easily treatable if caught early enough disease? Do they just do it because they fell into it and through inertia they don’t want to look for a better job?
In addition to not wanting to process human feces for a living, here are a few other things I’m fairly certain I don’t want to do for a living:
Cow slaughtering – I don’t want to be the guy who has to kill the cows at the meat processing plant. Cows are cute in an ugly sort of way and killing them all day wouldn’t bode well for my psyche.
Working at a kill shelter – similarly, I do not want to work at a animal shelter that kills the animals after a short period of time. Killing puppies and kittens would damage my soul. There are many good animals at your local shelter, waiting for someone to come and give them a forever home. If you are looking for a dog or cat for a pet, don’t go to a pet store. Go to a local shelter instead and save a life and the soul of the person who would otherwise put down the animal if it doesn’t get adopted. Most of my dogs have been adopted from shelters and they have all been great companions.
Sausage maker – I don’t like sausage. I’m not fond of hot dogs, but I’ll eat them. On the whole, I really don’t want to know what goes into making them. Not a job for me.
Being in the military – I have great respect for the members of our armed services. They do things that I wish no one ever had to do. I’m fairly certain I can’t do it. I’ve played paintball. The very first time I played paintball it was an all-day affair. I was in six games. I got ‘killed’ in every single game without ever getting to fire my paint gun. I have been ‘killed’ in every single game of paintball, but in later games I at least got to fire a few rounds before being taken out. From these experiences I conclude that I’m a terrible combatant and would be more of a hinderance than an aid to my fellow combatants.
I’m sure there are many other jobs that I would not like doing or would be terribly suited for.
I’m good at writing code, and stories, so I think I’ll stick to those.
If you’d like to support my efforts, and help keep me from having to do any of the jobs mentioned above,why not buy me a chocolate chip cookie through my Ko-Fi page? https://ko-fi.com/jhusum