Warning! The following may contain bad spelling, grammar, punctuation, cardboard characters, cheesy plots, offensive NSFW material, and / or puns. Reader discretion is advised.
“So who would put this formula together? If Gully Drink Company did it, and knew of the consequences, then they’d have to know this would come back on them eventually. Not a good business move.” Tom set the flask he was holding on the counter.
“Maybe there is some third party at work here.” Freddie sat on a bench nearby. “Someone who has a vested interest in the formula causing spontaneous human combustion. A sports drink would be a good test ground for it.”
“Yes, but why make the drink deliberately cause Ess Aitch See? That is an offensive action. Someone wants people to die from this.”
“A business wants to make money. Killing your customers doesn’t make you money.”
“Exactly. So I conclude that a third party is involved. They have either done something to the formula on purpose, or they set Gully Drink Company up as unwitting dupes in their scheme to distribute the formula. Follow me on this. This third party approaches Gully Drinks and sells them on the idea of an improved formula for their Zooper drink. There are enough chemicals to make it addictive. So, people like Clay Walter, who are part of this Ambassador Club and drink vast quantities of it, build up enough of the chemicals in their bodies to finally reach an ignition point.” Tom looked smug.
“Sounds plausible. But it seems like a lot of work to kill off a few people. Only people drinking a lot of Zooper are going to explode.”
“Unless there is a larger plan in place. Like I said, this is just the testing round. Maybe th people behind this are planning something bigger. If you wanted to get this into the populace at large, what would you do?”
“Advertise Zooper more heavily?”
“OK, that would be one way to do it. But what does everybody drink?”
“Coffee? Tea?”
“Close. Both of those are made with water. If I were going to try and cause mass spontaneous combustion, I’d sneak this into the water supply. Then everyone would start accumulating the chemicals in their system until finally…”
“A whole lot of people explode.”
“Precisely. Freddie, I think our unknown foe is going to target the city water supply!”