Warning! The following may contain bad spelling, grammar, punctuation, cardboard characters, cheesy plots, offensive NSFW material, and / or puns. Reader discretion is advised.
“Our top story tonight – explosions at the city water treatment plant.”
“Good evening, I’m Linda Lee.”
“And I’m Jarrod Mahoney. Earlier today a large tanker truck exploded at the city’s water treatment facility. Officials are saying it was an industrial accident. A tanker carrying chemicals used to help clean impurities out of the water before it is released into the reservoir system caught fire and exploded. We go to Jenny Ferguson for this report.”
A young reporter appears on the screen, her microphone at the ready, staring into the camera. A few seconds pass before she begins speaking. “Jarrod I’m here live at the city water treatment center. Behind me in the background you can see the remains of the tanker. Police and safety official will not let us any closer at this time. It is thought at this time that the hoses connecting the tanker to the outflow pumps was not secured properly and somehow caused a spark, which caused the chemicals to catch fire. It then proceeded to ignite the chemicals in the tanker, which then burst in a combustible explosion.”
A quick cut back to the studio and Linda asks a question. “Jenny, is there any further danger to the treatment plant, or the water supply?”
“We’ve been told that the plant is no longer in danger and things have been contained, but there is a concern that some chemicals that shouldn’t be in the water supply may have leaked in. We are asking residents to avoid drinking tap water over the next few days until officials can determine if there is any danger. Back to you, Linda and Jarrod.”
Linda Lee’s visage takes the place of Jenny on the screen. “Thank you for that report, Jenny. We will keep you updated on any further developments as they happen.”
“In other news, Gully Drink Company issued a recall today of their popular Zooper Energy Drink. A company spokesman in a prepared statement earlier today had this to say.”
An older man wearing an expensive business suit appears on the screen. “We are issuing a recall on the current Zooper Energy Drink to make way for a new and improved formula that will be hitting the shelves late next week. We expect that our many fans will like this new formula even better than the old one and we hope that they embrace it with the same gusto as our previous version.”
Linda Lee reappears. “Coming up later, the local zoo gets a new baby hippo, and Bob has the sports scores, after this break.”