Warning! The following may contain bad spelling, grammar, punctuation, cardboard characters, cheesy plots, offensive NSFW material, and / or puns. Reader discretion is advised.
Officers Hill and Harlow were patrolling the neighborhood, riding in their cruiser. They drove slowly through the streets while keeping an eye out for unusual activity.
“I’m telling you, Mein Kraft is the best video game to hit the shelves in ages.” Hill said to his partner.
“Yeah, but what do you do in the game?” Harlow answered.
“You take your avatar through the woods and gather resources. You use those to build stuff, but you have to watch out for the monsters roaming the forest. If you kill the monsters you get more resources to help you build more stuff. If you don’t then you get killed and you have to start over.”
“Sounds boring. Except the killing monsters part.” Harlow took a sip of his coffee.
The cruiser went past an alleyway. Harlow just happened to look down the alley at the right moment. “Hey, stop the car. I thought I saw something.”
Hill stopped the cruiser. Harlow reached out the window on his side and switched on the spotlight. He swung it around so the light played over the darkened space. Down behind one of the dumpsters he thought he saw some movement.
“I think we might have another one of the lost souls down there. We’d better check it out.”
Hill turned on the lights. Blue and red beams cast strange shadows on the nearby walls as the lights spun on the top of the cruiser.
The two officers got out of the car. Turning on their flashlights they walked down the alley, sweeping the beams from side to side.
“Hey, down there.” Harlow’s flashlight illuminated a dumpster toward the end of the alley. A pair of legs were laying on the ground, extending just past it. “Looks like one of them is sleeping it off. Better see if we can get him moving along.”
They approached the dumpster. “Okay buddy, let’s get up and move along. Maybe you can go sleep in a shelter tonight.” Hill said.
As they came around the side they saw that there was nothing above the hips of the pair of legs on the ground. The entire upper half of the body was missing. The body looked as if it had been chewed in half, blood spilling on the ground. The smell was already sickening.
“Oh, geez.” Hill forced down the bile rising in his throat. “What they hell do you think happened to this guy?”
“I don’t know, but it doesn’t look good. Maybe wild dogs or something.” Harlow turned just in time to see something large land on Hill. The officer went down under the weight of it. Razor sharp claws tore flesh from bone. Hill screamed at the pain.
“Damn!” Harlow tried to draw his gun but the creature pounced in mid draw. The creature sat upon Harlow, its jaws inches away from his face. Harlow could only stare into those jaws and the rows of teeth they contained. The last thing he saw were those teeth spreading apart and then clamping down over his face.