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Chatting with Xerxes

As I walk the dogs in the morning, I often see a man standing around, sometimes on the street, sometimes on the wall surrounding the neighborhood. He usually has a beanie cap, a long coat and rumpled clothes. You could easily think he was homeless, but I don’t think he is. I believe he lives somewhere in the neighborhood.

This morning he is perched on a fire hydrant, as if he is a giant bird of some type. As we went by Major Tom barks at him. I get Major to quiet down, then say “Sorry about that. He can be obnoxious.”

“Good morning,” he says.

“Well, good morning to you too,” I reply. “I note you’re kinda perched on that fire hydrant. It looks uncomfortable.”

What Xerxes looked like perching, if he were Christopher Walken and he was perching on a headstone.

“Oh no, I’m quite comfortable,” he says.

“Well, that’s good. I’m James, by the way” and I hold out my hand to shake his.

He grabbed my hand briefly, one pump, and released. “Xerxes.”

“Nice to meet you. I’ve seen you around the neighborhood, but we’ve never seemed to meet.”

“Well, I’m busy with my observations, so it’s understandable we haven’t met.”

“And what are you observing, if I might ask?”

“People. The human race.”

“Oh. Peoplewatching. Discovered anything interesting?”

“You’re not ready.”

“Me personally, or people in general?”

“You, collectively. You aren’t ready.”

“Ah.” I pause a moment. “Ready for what?”

“To join the greater Galactic civilization.”

“Ah,” I say again. “What makes you say that?”

“You lack compassion. You treat each other horribly. No civilized planet would act so callously towards its own inhabitants.”

“Harsh judgement. I can see your point though.” I pause again. “Not everyone is like that. There are many people who try to make the world a better place.”

“The conflict and tension on this planet are too much. You’re killing the dolphins, by the way.”

“The dolphins? What’s wrong with them? Too much pollution in the water?”

“Something like that. You’re negative emotions are polluting their psyches. They are a sort of cosmic transformer. They process the negativity on your world and transform it into positive vibes. But the overwhelming amounts of negativity on this world is killing them.”

“That’s a shame, then. I like dolphins.”

“Yes, I like them too.”

At this point Major Tom is tugging on the leash, eager to resume his walk. “It looks like he wants to get walking. It was nice meeting you, Xerxes.”

“It was a pleasure to meet you too.” He raises a hand and gives a small wave.

I wave back and head back to the house.

You meet the most interesting people on the roads.

If you liked this look into the way my mind works, why not buy me a chocolate chip cookie through my Ko-Fi page?

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