Warning! Rant ahead.
For years, whenever someone thanks me for being patient (like waiting in line at a store, or being on hold on the phone) my reply has usually been ‘I’m nothing if not patient.’
People have told me I have the patience of a saint. Practically anyone who knows me will tell you that in my list of good qualities, patience ranks pretty high.
But no more. I’ve officially run out of patience.
The other day, Major Tom and Magdalena were in the backyard. They took one of their stuffed toys outside with them, a practice we discourage. I walked out there to go pick it up and the two of them went at each other, as if intent on killing each other. I had to separate them three times. I screamed ‘No!’ at them and smacked them both on the head. This is after several months of them (mostly) getting along. They’ve been playing together for several weeks now. This incident has curbed any affection I have for them, I don’t want them to suffer, or incur injury or anything, but I don’t feel like taking care of them. I still feed and water them, but walkies have been put on indefinite hold.
Also, all three dogs came in to the bedroom at 5:45 AM and stuck their noses in my face to get me up. They didn’t seem to want anything in particular, just for me to no longer be sleeping.
After my doctor told me that the CT scan showed I have gall stones and that I might have to get my gall bladder removed, my wife decided to be helpful and find insurance for me. She went to some site on the Internet to get a quote and submitted my contact information. The next thing I know, I’m getting phone calls every three minutes (or less) from insurance brokers trying to sell me a policy. This has gone on for thirty six hours now. For a while I was answering the phone trying to tell them to take me off their lists. It got to the point where I answered the phone with phrases like ‘Would you like to sell your soul to Satan? Oh, wait. You already have.’ to ‘DIIIIIIE!’ (I found that last one to be rather cathartic.) I have since blocked every call but that doesn’t prevent them from calling me, it just doesn’t ring and tell me they are calling. They are still in my call history.
I’m on the ‘Do Not Call’ registry, which apparently does nothing to help. It should be mandatory that every telemarketing call be routed through the ‘Do Not Call’ registry before it gets completed. If the phone number they are calling is on the registry, the call should hang up. What’s that you say, the telemarketers won’t make money and might go out of business? Awwww. Too bad. That’s what they get for selling their souls to Satan.
I’m tired of dealing with people in general, and stupid people in particular. On the general spectrum of ‘love your neighbor’ I’m currently leaning toward the ‘destroy the Solar System and wipe the scourge of wooly human thinking from the face of the Universe before it infects the rest of the galaxy.’
Ignore me, my Hordeling. I’m tired, and cranky, and feeling rather anti-social. As England Dan and John Ford Coley remind us “Love is the answer.” I just need to remember that.
If you’d like to support my efforts, why not buy me a chocolate chip cookie through my Ko-Fi page? https://ko-fi.com/jhusum