Back in 2007, I was fortunate enough to be able to join the wife and her family (before we got married) for a ten day trip around Ireland. My future step-daughter was getting married and her father (my wife’s then current husband) had a lifelong wish to go to the Emerald Isle. In order to facilitate that dream, my step-daughter decided she wanted to be married in Ireland.
She got married locally in Texas first, which was mostly for the benefit of the groom’s family. The it was off to Ireland for the storybook wedding, inside a castle no less. I officiated the wedding inside the castle’s chapel. It was a small, intimate affair, just the family, the groom, and me. I have to say, the groom was marrying up.
We headed from there on a whirlwind tour of Ireland. I must say Ireland is one truly beautiful country. Southern Ireland is more beautiful than Northern Ireland but you really can’t go wrong with beautiful scenery wherever you go.
One of our stops was at Castle Ballynahinch. A notable bit of history is it was once the home of Richard Martin, the founder of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. It is now the location of a very upscale luxury hotel.
There were seven of us in the group and we took over the largest table in the dining room. From the table we had a good view of the lobster tank, where the future crustacean dinners were milling around. Their little claws were bound so they wouldn’t be able to snap them closed on whoever had to fish them out of the tank.
As it turns out, everyone at the table other than me ordered lobster for dinner. I watched as the server came out and grabbed the lobsters out of the tank. Most of them went placidly, but there was one that decided it wasn’t going to go gently into that good night.
No, one of them was a feisty little devil. He was the biggest of the group from what I could tell. He had a little more room to maneuver after the other lobsters got yanked out of the tank. He moved around so it was harder for the server to grab him. The server had to make two passes at the lobster before he managed to grab it and haul it out.
The lobster was not pleased. He seemed to know what was going on as he started waving his claws around. It looked like he was trying to flog the server’s hands, maybe in an attempt to get him to let go. I’m sure if his pincers weren’t taped up that lobster would have done his best to sever several fingers from the server’s hand. I can just imagine the lobster saying “If I could just pound him good, he’d drop me. Then we’d see how these humans like being boiled alive!”
Ultimately the lobster did get taken back to the kitchen and a little while later appeared on our table, fully cooked. I don’t remember which of our party got to eat the feisty lobster but I do remember everyone enjoyed their meal.
I wrote a short story based on this little culinary episode called The Day The Lobsters Took Over The World. I’ll have to publish it sometime.
I hope your food is behaving itself, my Hordeling.
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