When we went to our friend’s house to play Scrabble the other day, George The Cat was not sleeping in the Scrabble box. Instead, he was on the back of he couch, staring out the window into the backyard. I don’t know if there was something holding his attention, like a bird or a squirrel running around, or if he was just pondering the Eternal Verities, like how humans make barely adequate servants yet somehow have not erased themselves out of existence yet.
George’s absence gave their other cat, Elfie, a opportunity to come out and visit. Elfie has been rather reclusive the last several times we’ve been over to play Scrabble, usually keeping to herself in another room. This time she joined us. After several rounds of scritches, Elfie joined us at the table and laid claim to the Scrabble box. After curling up in the box she took to swatting at the tip of her tail, which protruded from under her hind leg. Her tail would twitch, she would bat at it, then go on about her business of napping, until the tail twitched again. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Things went well until George meandered over from his spot on the couch. Whether he bored of watching whatever in the backyard, or tired of the Eternal Verities, or just wanted to change position I don’t know.
He jumped on the table to find that Elfie was in his spot in the Scrabble box. This did not bode well. I could almost here Walter from The Big Lebowski saying “you’re entering a world of pain!“.
He went over and nudged Elfie with his nose, a not-so-subtle hint to vacate the box. Elfie refused.
George was displeased with this and the battle of wills ensued.
George sat on the table a foot or so away from Elfie, erect as he could be. His tail curled around his front paws. His eyes closed halfway. You could see he wasn’t playing around and meant for Elfie to vacate the box. The unspoken threat was that there would be consequences to pay if she didn’t.
At first Elfie just sat in the box, the end of her tail flipping defiantly. She laid claim to the box, it was hers and she wasn’t going to move.
George remained perfectly still.
After a few minutes, Elfie’s ears flattened against her head, and she hunched her shoulders. Another moment later she hissed at George.
George remained still.
A moment later Elfie swatted at George, but he was too far away for her to connect.
George remained still.
A low growl emitted from Elfie and if at all possible, her ears flattened even further against her head.
George remained still.
Elfie got up and George swatted at her, causing Elfie to bolt away and jump over to the credenza.
George moved closer to the edge of the table, as if guarding against her return. She had been driven off and was not welcome back to the table.
They growled at each other but ultimately Elfie backed down and took refuge on a chair behind me.
Take what lessons you will from this, my Hordeling.
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