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Be vewy vewy quiet, I’m hunting ….

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Squirrel!

No. Really.

Let me back up.

I was at the house today by myself, doing some chores while we had a new fence installed. A fence is mandatory with the dogs so they can go out, run around, do their business, without me having to put them on their leashes and take them out individually.

I spent part of the time talking with a contractor about the floor in our garage that cracked and is partially falling away from the structure. After that I got up on the garage roof to saw off some branches of a tree that are overhanging the garage. It took some time and effort. There were vines that had entangled themselves around the branches, making it difficult to get them off the roof. I had to chop through many of them to get the branches free before tossing them over the edge. With that done I had to haul them off to the lower part of the property that is mainly woods.

I took a break and went inside. I was sitting on the couch when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Intuitively I thought it was Sirocco, even though he was not there. I looked down and whatever it was moved. It was then I realized it was a squirrel.

I said hello but it got startled. I guess it isn’t used to conversing with people. I told it that it would probably be better off outside. I got off the couch and it scrambled across the room, over the couch and behind it to get on the windowsill. It knocked several decorations off, including some decorative bottles, but fortunately nothing broke. I went into the kitchen to get a packet of nuts, then returned to the living room. I opened the sliding glass door and put down a nut or two, hoping the squirrel would go out that way. I was going to the other end of the couch so I could drive the squirrel towards the door. It had other ideas and bolted to the kitchen.

I got in the kitchen and opened the side door, put down a few nuts, and tried to maneuver the squirrel to the door. Again, the little critter had other ideas. It scrambled out of the kitchen, ran down the hallway and went into the study. I opened the front door, then went into the study. I could hear it scrabbling around but I couldn’t see it. We have a large filing cabinet that divides the room. I went around one side and I could hear the squirrel on the other. I finally got around the other side and there was no sign of the squirrel. I assume (dangerously) that it went out the front door.

I spent another ten minutes or so scouring the house for any signs of the squirrel. Finding none, I closed all the doors, and sealed up the house again.

I have no idea how the squirrel got into the house in the first place. I’m guessing it got in sometime when I had one of the doors open while dealing with the fence installers or the contractor. I don’t think it was inside very long as I couldn’t find any evidence it had gotten into any food, or destroyed any furniture, or otherwise damaged the house somehow. I didn’t find any breaks in the doors or windows. Maybe it can phase through solid matter or teleport. You never know.

I’m just glad the dogs weren’t home. That would have been chaos on a level I don’t need in my life. I imagine them chasing the squirrel everywhere, destroying furniture and anything fragile or breakable along the way, then ending in an epic Big Boss Battle where the squirrel ends up dead but the dogs all have to be rushed to the vet. Nice for a story but not nearly as exciting in Real Life.

I hope the wild animals in your life are all behaving, my Hordeling.

If you’d like to support my efforts, why not buy me a chocolate chip cookie through my Ko-Fi page? https://ko-fi.com/jhusum

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