The subject line of this post is attributed to W.C. Fields, famous comedian and actor from the 1940s.
Generally it is meant that children and animals can be hard to work with. They don’t take direction well, unlike (most) adult actors. Often, multiple takes of a scene must be done to “get it right” because kids and animals can be unpredictable, missing cues or not doing what they are supposed to do. The results can sometimes be amazing or unintentionally hysterical. But as a rule, it is considered to be better not work with either of them.
Why do I bring this up?
“Let’s take Christmas photos with the dogs!” the wife said.
She has conveniently forgotten both W.C. Fields’ advice and the many times before, for both Christmas and other times, how notoriously difficult it is to get our dogs to co-operate in the process of being photographed.
What the wife truly wants is a nice photo of both of us, with all three dogs, sitting in front of the Christmas trees (yes, plural), looking happy and cheerful. Since we don’t have anyone else to take the photos, she settles on pictures of each of us, with each dog, in front of the three trees. The trees are not all together. So, eighteen pictures total.
The dogs like the attention, but they do not like being told to sit. Nor do they like looking at the camera. I suspect that the flash is too much for their eyes. I certainly know that I’m not a fan of it going off in my face far more than the eighteen times it takes to get a photo the wife thinks is worthy of keeping. It reminds me of the very first time the wife wanted to take a picture of me. It was many years ago after we first met. I was loathe to have photos of me taken then, and I still am, but the wife doesn’t understand the concept. I have had to resign myself to being photographed for all these decades.
Anyway, she came over to my apartment, then we sat down to take the photo. I figured maybe two or three shots at the most and we’d be done. No. Not even close. She took something like thirty or so pictures, flash going off on every one of them. All I could see for the rest of the evening was a big purple dot. To be fair though, she got one of the best photos ever taken of me.
The dogs like me more than the wife, a fact that consternates her to no end. Also, when one of them gets attention, the other two want in on the fun. So trying to get just one dog to come to me, get into position, and look at the camera (mostly) is a Herculean task. They want to sit on me, or behind me, or butt their head into my stomach and stand that way so their butt is facing the camera (a social statement?) Many times I can get them turned toward the wife, but then it is a matter of getting their heads up, and their ears up, and looking toward the camera while I too am smiling and looking at the camera. And we have to keep the other dogs out of the picture too.
We finally get done with my photo shoot and it is the wife’s turn. Not only do we have the same problems as above, we also have the problem that the dogs keep coming over to me instead of going to the wife. Even if the one dog goes to her, the other two are sitting near me, or in front of the camera, making it difficult to get a shot.
After maybe an hour, maybe a little longer, we finally got enough pictures that the wife thought she might be able to get at least one good picture of each dog in front of each tree with both of us.
She spent much of this evening going through all the photos, looking at them in her photo editing software, making adjustments to lighting and hue, cropping or resizing. She loves doing that so I’m glad she has something fun to do. As of the time of this writing she has several of me and Sirocco, and maybe one or two with the other dogs. I don’t know how long it will take her to get a complete set of all of us. I’m sure that when she gets them done they’ll all go online in a Facebook photo album.
I hope you’re getting to do what makes you happy, my Hordeling, and that you don’t have to work with any kids or pets.
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