In addition to time working differently in small towns, getting from point A to point B is different too.
For instance, we needed to get a copy of our deed for the new house. I know where the town courthouse is, and the town hall, I figured the Register Of Deeds office should be in one of these buildings. I got to the Courthouse first, only to find it was locked up. OK, not in there. I went next door to the Town Hall and found one person in the building. I went to ask her where the Register Of Deeds office was located.
“It’s not in this building.”
Now, at this point I would expect that she’d just give me the address of the place. I’d either know where it was (I’m still learning my way around town, so not likely) or I’d put in my GPS and find it that way. That’s the way I’d do it back in the Big City.
Instead, this is Small Town America, and instead of getting the address, I get directions. But not something as simple as “Two blocks down on the right”. No, this is a little more complicated.
“Okay, first, are you parked out front?”
“Yes, I am.”
“All right. Go out front. Head down the street. You’ll go through the first stop sign, but turn right at the second one.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“Wait, there’s more. You head down there until you get to Hud’s place. But don’t turn there! Keep on going straight.”
“Hud’s. Go straight.”
“Yes, then a little ways past Hud’s there’s that bush that looks kind of like a rabbit. If you squint your eyes, those two branches sticking up look like rabbit ears.”
“Bushy rabbit ears. Got it.”
“Two streets past there, you make a left, then a right, then a left.”
“Left, right, left. Right?”
“Left, right, left. Then you’ll get to the field where the Hanging Oak used to be, until some fool went and burned it down a number of years ago now.”
“Empty Hanging Oak field. Go on.”
“Right next to that you’ll see Elmer and Jean’s place, you’ll know when you get there because they have one of them Oreo cows in the front yard.”
“Righty-o. Oreo cow. And that’s where the Register of Deeds Office is located?”
“Almost. Keep going straight, take the next right and you’ll see it up on the hill. Can’t miss it.”
“Sounds simple enough. I’m sure I’ll be able to follow your very easy directions and find it no problem. Thanks!”
“You’re welcome. And when you get there, tell Irma that Christy says ‘hello!'”
“Will do. Thanks again.”
The surprising thing is that I was able to follow the directions and found the town jail, which has the Register Of Deeds office within it. Seems like an odd place to put the Register Of Deeds office, but hey, it’s their town they can put the offices where they want to. Within a few minutes I was in, got the copy of our deed, and was out again, on my way back to the house. Having followed the nice lady’s directions, it was easier to reverse them and get back to my house.
And I told Irma that Christy said “hello!”.
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