How the decision to ask for John the Baptist’s head probably went.
The young girl swayed provocatively to the music. Herod’s birthday celebration was in full swing. He looked at his guests. By their reactions, he could tell they were greatly pleased, as was he.
The music stopped, as did the girl. She was the daughter of Herodias. Upon seeing her dance, Herod was moved to give her something extraordinary in return.
“Ask me for anything, and I will give it to you,” he said. “Whatever you ask I will give it to you, up to half my kingdom.”
The young girl was overwhelmed. Never in her dreams would she have imagined obtaining such wealth. She retreated, to consult with her mother as to what she should ask for.
Herodias held a grudge against John the Baptist for speaking out against her marriage to Herod, who was her husband’s brother. She wished him dead, but John remained under Herod’s protection and was imprisoned.
“Mom! Did you hear that? Herod has offered me up to half his Kingdom! What should I ask for?”
“Tell Herod you wish the head of John the Baptist on a platter.”
“What? Gross! I don’t think so. I was thinking more like one of those new chariots, the ones with the big spikes on the wheels, with a team of horses to draw me around in style. The other girls would be so jealous!”
“No my daughter. You will tell Herod you want the head of John the Baptist.”
“As if! I could get enough money to go shopping every day in the market. I’d never run out of things to buy!”
“My daughter, there are greater concerns at play here.”
“That’s right. My play. I’ll never have to work again! I’ll buy enough servants that I can have a different one for every day of the year!”
“Daughter, you will have my foot up your ass so far I’ll tickle your tonsils with my toes if you don’t do as I say!”
“But Mooooom … it’s not fair!”
“Don’t ‘but Mom’ me! I’ll tell you what. You and I will have a girls weekend, just the two of us. We’ll go get massages and mud baths at the spa, then shop ’til we drop, and dine on the finest delicacies hand-fed to us by handsome young men. Just do this for your Mother.”
The daughter crossed her arms and scowled. She let out a hefty sigh. “Fine.”
Herodias took her daughter in a loving embrace. “That’s my girl. Now, run along and tell Herod what you want.”
“John the Baptist’s head. Got it.”
“On a platter.”
“On a platter.”
“That’s my girl. Mother loves you.”
“Yeah, yeah. I love you too. I guess.”
“Ill take it. Now run along.”
Yeah. It probably went something more like that.
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