Over on the forums at Holly’s Writing Classes there was a discussion about having some type of conflict in your scenes that moves the story forward, or at least makes it interesting. The example was given of two people talking about the weather.
What follows is the dialog that they posted, with narration around it provided by me to make the scene more interesting.
Mark pulled the Trans Am to the curb. John hastily got in.
“Hi, John, how are you today?” Mark asked as he pulled into traffic. John looked out the back window. The three assassins riding motorcycles were closing in fast.
“I’m fine, Mark,” John replied. He motioned for Mark to drive faster. He pulled his Beretta out of the holster. “Nice weather we’re having isn’t it?”
Bullets from the assassin’s Uzi shattered the back windshield. John returned fire, winging one of the killers but not enough to take him out of the pursuit.
“Yes, it’s nice to have some sun after all that rain we’ve had recently.” Mark yanked the steering wheel hard to the left, cutting in front of oncoming traffic, hoping to tie up the following motorcycles in the resulting traffic snarl. One motorcycle made it through and was still in pursuit.
“Yeah, I’m planning on making the most of it.” John took careful aim, then emptied his clip at their pursuer. His motto had always been “too much firepower is never enough.” The assassin fell off the motorcycle, which crashed into a parked car on the side of the road, erupting into a giant ball of flame.
“Me too.” Mark moved back into the flow of traffic, taking an evasive route back to headquarters, always keeping a eye in the rear view mirror for the other two motorcycle assassins.
It’s all about context.
If you’d like to support my efforts, why not buy me a chocolate chip cookie through my Ko-Fi page? https://ko-fi.com/jhusum